Every day, we women make the same mistake: we open our social media timelines. Be it Instagram or Facebook, social networks are bursting with superwomen with astral bodies, perfect Victorias Secret hair and expensive designer bags. Mostly they are lying on the beach, at home (aka gym) or present themselves in the most promising pose you can take as a starlet and influencer: Lightly dressed, with an unnatural posture and seductive pout.
Influencers and our behavior
What this does in us? Well, different reaction fronts are forming:
- I condemn the behavior, but secretly imitate it, because I also want to chalk up some of the success for myself. However, I will by no means admit to copying individual components here, because I want to come across as authentic.
- I condemn this behavior and let the whole world know it, even if I have to discredit individuals for it and call their whole lives superficial.
- I see the behavior as a threat to the whole society and start a call so that all other “friends” in my “filter bubble ” do the same.
- I mimic and admit to the behavior to increase my own success. However, I claim to be more authentic and not so “fake” and “cheap”.
- I start a counter-movement in which I constantly clarify that women with any body shapes and traits are beautiful and should accept themselves. To this end, I often mention the word mindfulness or self-love to achieve appropriate reach and point to my alternative and much better way.
- I let this behavior unsettle me and make me question myself and my whole life.
- I don’t begrudge others their success, even if I sometimes find the method dubious, and I work on my own personality.
- I blindly follow these social influencers and imitate their behaviors and actions.
- I’m writing a blog article about how, while I don’t approve of the increasing “nudity” on social media, it is a profitable business and I can accept that there is more money to be made in boobs and butts than in food photos.
Maybe one or the other of you will find yourselves among the above-mentioned groups of people, I for my part would just like to say: Enough!
What actually sucks
More than revealing pictures, false body ideals or the ideal world that is played for us in social media, it is the judgment of others that annoys me. I am well aware that as humans we can by no means hold back when it comes to voicing our own opinions, but does it really have to be every day and under every photo? Let them be slim and athletic and earn a few euros a month with advertising deals. After all, women can’t help it that others have a job, household, husband, children, etc. and may have neither time nor money for sports, travel and expensive designer bags.
What’s behind the Naked Business
Ultimately, you have to admit one thing: The well-toned and (often) revealing ladies of Instagram and Co. are (according to society’s image, be it correct or not) pretty, slim, successful and wealthy, so what?
Is it possible to increase one’s own self-worth only by lowering others? At the latest when you take a look at the Youtube world, you learn that a 10-12 hour shooting day for a few hundred thousand viewers does not bring in a fortune when all fixed costs, equipment and management have been paid for. The fitness and fashion business also has its pitfalls: While we complain about more appreciation from our superiors, these women and men have to put up with insults, hostility and threats every day. They pay many of their fixed costs themselves and have to spend hours rushing from job to job or groveling in order to land a good advertising deal or have themselves labeled as too chubby (body), too asymmetrical (face) or too inflexible (drop more clothes) at what feels like the hundredth photo shoot.
Authenticity, transparency and more openness to diversity
I would like to see more authenticity, more transparency and more openness to diversity. However, as long as our view of society is only divided into a black and white model, nothing will change in the fact that the most lucrative business will still operate according to the motto “sex sells”.
So in the end, strip down and keep fit, have a good idea, try influential networks, or just go your own individual way – Whatever you choose. Stop judging others’ choices just because you don’t like them and think you deserve success more than others.
On my business blog I try to give my network women tips and tricks to work on their own success, but I increasingly notice the strong discrimination among women (see my article: The Eris Principle), which reflects an arrogance that often makes me cringe. I accept the “naked business” and recognize the compromises and hard work that (often) lie behind it. I don’t take these (in that case) women as my role model, since their path is not mine, but I can acknowledge their achievement, whether active (hard work) or passive (good genes), without drawing a comparison with my own person or appealing to society’s morals.
About the author
Kinga Bartczak advises, coaches and writes on female empowerment, new work culture, organizational development, systemic coaching and personal branding. She is also the managing director of UnternehmerRebellen GmbH and publisher of the FemalExperts magazine .
