A guest contribution by Mira Christine Mühlenhof , keynote speaker at the Feminess Congress
It just happens: under stress, women sometimes get water in the eyes. A completely normal reaction, by the way, when insults and injuries fly through the conference room and you no longer know how to defend yourself. Once the nerves have been strained, one wrong word can open the floodgates.
Never mind! Emotions are in again! After it was frowned upon for a long time to show emotions in business, the leadership quality of emotional competence is once again in high demand. It’s about time…
And this is your chance! Use your innate talent for empathy to score in business.
Knowing me – knowing you
People have very different characters and are therefore at home in very different emotional worlds. Each personality structure, in turn, is motivated by the goal direction and thus the true reason for acting. We carry 9 basic motivations within us, one of which has taken hold in the course of our early childhood development and has become the motor of our personality. By dealing with these 9 intrinsic motivations (= inner drive) and learning to discover the associated emotional qualities within yourself, you will practice a better way of dealing with yourself. Pleasant side effect: You can learn to read the intrinsic motivation of your counterpart as well. Thus, you understand your colleagues and customers in the depth of their character and know how to deal with them. But first, let’s get to you.
Become an expert in your inner home
Learning to master one’s own emotional pattern takes effort. But we women manage it more easily. Why? Because we question ourselves every day.
Here you will find an overview of 10 emotional patterns and learn how to master them.
1) Do better: Dose your pursuit of perfection
People with a will to perfection are models of self-discipline. You have high expectations of yourself and others, are ambitious and determined. However, if you constantly set the bar too high for yourself and others, you will often be dissatisfied – and your charisma will suffer as a result. Work on composure. Not everything has to be perfect!
2) Want to be loved: Stop mothering others
People who do everything for others and help without being asked are lovable. Sooner or later, however, the concentrated attention sticks like chewing gum. It is noticeable that this person can give but not take. If you spoil everyone else and forget yourself in the process, you become manipulative. Learn to take care of yourself first – and then others.
3) Reap applause and recognition: Reduce your narcissism
People who like to be the center of attention are “charming.” They motivate and inspire because they get up every morning with countless new ideas. They are true workaholics who seek success at all levels: At work and in their private lives. If you try to do justice to all roles, you will eventually die yourself. Practice teamwork and share your laurels.
4) The main thing is different: refrain from too much emotional drama.
People with a strong sense of sensitivity live their feelings intensively. And they don’t care what others think of them. Of course, this can’t be done without drama. Always maintaining the status of being special can be annoying to others. Stay with yourself and live out your feelings sometimes in silence – without involving others.
5) Understand the world: Get in touch
Clever minds with whom you can discuss for nights on end go down well. They are considered unpretentious, frugal and unexcited. Knowledge is power – but it does not create closeness. Only a few head geniuses manage to make their knowledge understandable. And often the exchange of feelings falls by the wayside. Likewise, the ability to enjoy. Share your knowledge – and live intensively!
6) Feel safe: Be brave!
People who are faithful, loyal and looking for reliable relationships are well received. They are open, interested and friendly, appreciate structure and an orderly life. What is disturbing is the tendency to worst-case scenarios: Constant doubt and the desire to hedge one’s bets are evidence of a lack of self-confidence. Make decisions – even if it’s the wrong one!
7) Fight for Justice: Practice Letting Go
These people have fire and show it. They are free thinkers and rebels. If you say “red,” they say “blue: They are people who live the Contra principle, always and everywhere. But constant struggle wears you down. Give up control and the fight sometimes, too. Learn to surrender to the flow of life. Practice basic trust!
8) Enjoy life: Face unattractive things.
Exuberant joie de vivre makes life easier. These people are always in a good mood and make others laugh – they are born entertainers. However, if the love of life leads to not thinking about problems, the scenario tips over. Part of life is also getting through difficult times. Do not evade and stand your ground!
9) Be the strongest: Let others go first too
These people go through life with strength and self-confidence. They take what they – in their opinion – are entitled to and love to make their own rules. Her motto: “I’m not a smart-ass, I really do know better.” This attitude leaves little room for others to develop. Show size and take a step back sometimes.
10) Stay out of it: Take a stand
People who don’t play to the gallery and go along with everything are considered modest and self-satisfied. They are the calm poles in the surf of life, they succeed in the twinkling of an eye in calming heated tempers and nipping conflicts in the bud. However, a person with whom you cannot argue can also make you angry. Stand up for your values!
Tip: Develop your own personal tool box. Learn to discover and live all the emotional qualities within yourself. According to the quote by Eckart Tolle:
You have to come to a point in your life where you have feelings. Otherwise, the feelings have you.
Mira Christine Mühlenhof – the extraordinary personality expert
Journalist and social psychologist Mira Christine Mühlenhof explains human behavior from a surprising perspective. The expert for self-reflection has translated ancient knowledge about the depth psychology of the human being into today’s time and developed the
Key to see® method
Coaching for more Self.Awareness.Being and LeadershipPower. In her seminars she humorously guides you to deep self-knowledge. After that, nothing is the same as before. And her keynotes are known as sustained insight shows.
About the author
Kinga Bartczak berät, coacht und schreibt zu Female Empowerment, neuer Arbeitskultur, Organisationsentwicklung systemischen Coaching, und Personal Branding.
Zudem ist sie Geschäftsführerin der UnternehmerRebellen GmbH und Herausgeberin des FemalExperts Magazins.