Perhaps you know it too: the small, sometimes very loud voice in your head that makes its comments exactly when you need them the least. And its comments are unfortunately not very encouraging. This voice, often referred to as the “inner critic” or “inner critical voice”, is fed by negative beliefs that can make life difficult for us. But even if this voice is particularly persistent, there are ways to calm it down and even steer it in a positive direction.
The inner critic: Who is that anyway?
The inner critic is the voice in our head that tells us, for example, that we are not good enough or that we don’t deserve something. This voice has its roots in childhood, a time when we (have to) develop strategies to find our way in the world and learn to deal with setbacks. In our childhood, this was useful and helpful. But the older we get, the less these strategies fit into our life plan. What’s more, they are nourished by further negative experiences and external influences and thus confirm themselves again and again. They are like a pair of glasses through which we can only see the world and ourselves in a distorted way. Typical statements from this inner voice are
- “You won’t make it anyway.”
- “You’re not good enough.”
- “You don’t belong anyway.”
The power of the inner critic: How negative beliefs influence us
The inner critical voice can significantly affect our self-esteem and even influence our decisions. If we believe that we are not good enough, we avoid challenges or overlook opportunities for fear of failure. And we women are often confronted with societal expectations and role models that create additional pressure. These negative beliefs can prevent us from reaching our full potential – ultimately standing in our own way. What was once a helpful strategy has become a blockage. And so we may find that we simply don’t achieve our goals, no matter how hard we try. Or we are stuck in situations that are not good for us, but don’t feel able to change anything about them. And sometimes the inner critic is so familiar with their comments that we no longer even notice them. And believe that their messages are true.
Getting to the bottom of your inner critic
The first step to calming your inner critic is to recognize their negative messages. Here are some strategies:
Self-observation: Pay conscious attention to your thoughts and make a note of any negative statements you make about yourself.
Recognize patterns: Think about the situations in which your inner critical voice is particularly active. Is it certain tasks or challenges that trigger it?
Humorous confrontation: Give your inner critic a funny name or imagine they are speaking in a cartoon voice. This will take away their power and allow you to view their statements with more distance.
Transforming the inner critic
Once you have identified the negative beliefs, you can use the following techniques to question and change them:
Reality check: Ask yourself whether the statements made by your inner critic are really true. Is there evidence for or against it? Write down your thoughts, divide a sheet of paper into two columns: “Evidence for” and “Evidence against”. This list is often very informative at first glance. If you are unsure, ask a friend for advice.
Reversal: Turn the negative statements into positive ones. For example, “I am not good enough” becomes “I have many strengths and abilities”.
Creative techniques: Visualize how you can transform your inner critic into a loving cheerleader who supports and motivates you. Have imaginary dialogues in which you talk to your inner critical voice. This works particularly well if you write down the dialog as if you were writing a script.
Cultivate your inner cheerleader
It is important to strengthen and reinforce positive beliefs so that the inner critic permanently loses influence. Here are a few things you can try out:
Affirmative questions: Positive statements about yourself, such as “I am valuable and competent”, sometimes have little power if the opposite is firmly anchored in your subconscious. In contrast, affirmative questions can stimulate the subconscious to look for new ways: “Why am I valuable and competent?” or “How can I make myself feel like a valuable and competent woman?”
Celebrate successes: Be aware of what you have already achieved and celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem.
Supportive environment: Surround yourself with people who encourage you and believe in you. Talk to other women who are overcoming similar challenges.
Be brave and face your inner critic. It’s time to transform it into a powerful supporter. We are often stronger than we think and have the power to change negative beliefs. If you feel like you can’t move forward on your own, seek support. Because working on your own negative beliefs can steer your life in a completely new direction. So get going! Grab the metaphorical boxing glove and turn your inner critic into your biggest fan – with a pinch of humor and a big dose of self-love!
About the author
My work with women entrepreneurs and self-employed women is based on the experience I have gained as an entrepreneur, social scientist, (art) therapist and artist. These stations in my life form the foundation on which my coaching offers for women entrepreneurs stand today. In the work with me - you learn to recognise social contexts and individual backgrounds and to solve blockages - you create a magical order in your business that enables you to achieve new clarity - you reconnect entrepreneurial thinking with your intuition For me, having my own business that is economically viable is one of the greatest adventures, along with travelling, and I would like to accompany you on this adventure with all my enthusiasm, my knowledge and my experience.
