The Double Standard for Women at Work
A few weeks ago, Viola Davis made headlines again for her immense talent and for the way she carries herself with unapologetic confidence. Whether she’s delivering a powerful speech, advocating for diversity, or simply existing as a strong Black woman in Hollywood, she sparks conversations.
Some praise her for being a powerhouse. Others say she’s “too intense.” Some admire her elegance; others pick apart her looks. Sound familiar?
Women in leadership live this reality every day. No matter how competent, intelligent, or accomplished we are, we are constantly measured against impossible, contradictory standards. We are told to be confident, but not intimidating. To be warm, but not weak. To be ambitious, but not aggressive. And while men are judged primarily on their skills, we are judged on everything: from the way we speak to the way we dress to whether we smile “enough.”
The Corporate Double Standard: Lead Like a Man, Look Like a Woman
As an HR leader, I’ve seen how corporate culture claims to embrace diversity while still punishing women for fully embodying it. Companies want us at the table—but only if we don’t disrupt the system too much.
- If we’re assertive, we’re “difficult.”
- If we’re collaborative, we’re “too soft.”
- If we express emotion, we’re “unstable.”
- If we don’t, we’re “cold.”
Then there’s the unspoken rulebook on appearance. If we’re attractive, we have to work twice as hard to prove we’re competent. If we’re older, we have to prove we’re still relevant. If we embrace femininity, we’re seen as frivolous. If we don’t, we’re accused of being too harsh.
The hypocrisy runs deep: society tells us to succeed in a man’s world, but only if we don’t remind them too much that we’re women.
The Biological Clock vs. The Corporate Clock
One of the most ignored conversations in workplace leadership is the reality of time. While men are often rewarded for career growth well into their 40s and 50s, women face a different kind of pressure: the biological clock.
By the time we reach leadership roles, we are often at a crossroads—thinking about family, freezing our eggs, or dealing with the unspoken expectation that we should “hurry up” before it’s too late. And yet, companies still struggle to accommodate working mothers in meaningful ways.
- If a woman takes maternity leave, she’s seen as “less committed.”
- If she returns to work too soon, she’s “neglecting” her child.
- If she chooses not to have kids, people whisper that she’s “too career-obsessed.”
- If she decides to be a stay-at-home wife, she is “wasting her potential.”
This outdated mindset is why so many talented women either burn out trying to “do it all” or step back from leadership entirely. Not because they aren’t capable, but because the system was never built to support them.
Introverted, Emotional, and Powerful: Reclaiming Our Strengths
Another myth that needs to die is that great leaders are always loud, dominant, and extroverted. The truth? Some of the most powerful leaders I know are introverts—deep thinkers who lead with quiet strength, observation, and emotional intelligence.
Yet emotional intelligence—something women often excel at—is undervalued in leadership. Corporate culture still rewards outdated, “command and control” styles, even though studies show that workplaces led by emotionally intelligent leaders have higher engagement, retention, and productivity.
So why are we still forcing women to fit a mold that was never designed for us?
It’s Time to Rewrite the Rules
We don’t need to prove that we can lead “like men.” We don’t need to suppress our emotional intelligence, hide our introversion, or pretend we don’t have personal lives outside of work. Instead, we need to push for workplaces that don’t just accommodate women but actually recognize the value of our leadership styles.
That means holding organizations accountable for ensuring leadership beyond the traditional and male-dominated model is respected. It means challenging the biases that tell us we must choose between ambition and femininity, success and motherhood, intelligence and beauty.
And most importantly, it means redefining leadership on our own terms. Because whether we’re “too much” or “not enough,” the real problem isn’t us—it’s the system that refuses to evolve.
Über die Autorin
Sara Yahia is a compassionate and visionary leader known for her emotional intelligence and strategic leadership. As a three-time award-winning HR executive, she has played a pivotal role in shaping inclusive workplaces, fostering talent development, and driving organizational excellence. Her influence extends beyond corporate boundaries—she is also the author of Quietly Sparks, a book that resonates with professionals navigating leadership in a world that often overlooks introverts.
A strong advocate for children’s welfare, Sara dedicates much of her time and resources to philanthropic efforts, providing better opportunities for underprivileged youth. Her kindness and deep sense of empathy make her a leader who inspires and uplifts those around her.
Despite her success in the corporate world, Sara is a social introvert who thrives in meaningful one-on-one connections rather than large crowds. Her emotional intelligence allows her to lead with heart and strategy, making her an exceptional mentor and role model.
Beyond her professional life, Sara is a woman of many passions. She finds solace in flying planes, the thrill of skiing, the grace of horse riding, and the creativity of cooking. A skilled pianist, she often loses herself in melodies that reflect her introspective nature.
With a life driven by purpose, curiosity, and quiet strength, Sara Yahia left an indelible mark on the world—one thoughtful decision, one inspired individual, and one meaningful act of kindness at a time.
