No matter how good your plan is to combine career and motherhood:
Criticism comes. Always.
From people who don’t know your everyday life.
From those who “only mean well”.
And from your toughest critic: yourself.
Why is that the case?
Because we live in a system that allows women to succeed professionally –
until a child comes into the picture. Then motherhood is romanticized, evaluated and controlled.
One example of this is the public outcry surrounding Bundestag member Hanna Steinmüller, who spoke in the Bundestag with a baby in 2025. The debate was not about the content of her speech –
but about organization, professionalism and “role model effect”.
The real problem is not her.
The problem is the pattern behind it:
As long as it is considered exceptional to be a mother and a professional at the same time, we have a structural problem.
As long as women have to explain how they manage to do both, while men are applauded for it, we have a cultural problem. And as long as we talk about the how instead of the what, equality will not be achieved.
What does that mean for you?
If you are criticized, it’s not because of you. It’s because of the system.
You can take responsibility – for your child, for your decisions, for your life. But you don’t have to measure yourself against expectations that were never made for you.
Concrete assistance (remember that):
Ask yourself three questions when criticizing – always in this order:
- Does this person really know my everyday life?
→ If no: Sort out opinion. - Does the criticism apply to my behavior or only to a social ideal?
→ Ideals are not a yardstick for your life. - What is my definition of “good enough” – today?
→ You act accordingly. Item.
The more clearly you can answer these questions, the less power criticism will have over you.
You are not a bad mother.
You are not an overambitious career woman.
You are a woman who wants both and shapes both responsibly.
And someone who tells you that you can’t,
doesn’t show you your limits, but theirs.
About the author
Julia Neeb ist Rechtsanwältin, Executive Coach, Mama und Autorin.
Sie begleitet Frauen in Führungspositionen, Unternehmerinnen und Mütter im Spannungsfeld von Karriere, Verantwortung und persönlicher Klarheit.
In ihren Texten verbindet sie juristische Präzision mit psychologischem Tiefgang und gesellschaftlicher Analyse. Sie schreibt über weibliche Führung, strukturelle Ungleichheiten, Mutterschaft im Berufsleben, Selbstführung und die Frage, wie Frauen Erfolg neu definieren können – jenseits von Perfektionsansprüchen und alten Rollenbildern.
Julia Neeb steht für eine klare, reflektierte und zugleich menschliche Perspektive auf Business und Karriere. Ihre Beiträge laden dazu ein, gewohnte Denkmuster zu hinterfragen, innere wie äußere Grenzen sichtbar zu machen und den eigenen Weg bewusst zu gestalten.
Bei FemalExperts schreibt sie über die Realität weiblicher Lebens- und Arbeitswelten – ehrlich, unbequem, stärkend.
