There are experiences that have such a profound effect on our entire system—on our body and mind—that our mind cannot process them in the moment they occur. It’s like trying to pour an entire lake into a small glass; it’s simply impossible.
To protect us from this flood of stimuli, our psyche has a kind of automatic safety mode: what’s known as dissociation.
Distance as a Lifeline
So when we find ourselves in such a situation, something very helpful happens: When flight or fight are no longer possible, the brain pulls the emergency brake.
- There is a part of us that ensures our survival. It makes sure that we keep breathing, moving, and eventually return to our daily lives.
- The other part puts what happened into a drawer and locks it shut. This is where the unbearable pain, the fear, and all the memories of the traumatic experience are stored. In our daily lives, we have no access to that drawer, because it, too, is forgotten for the time being.
That is why many people affected by this know that something happened, but on an emotional level, it doesn’t feel tangible. It’s as if the connection between knowing and feeling has been severed. Fragments of memory may suddenly surface in everyday life: smells, feelings—so-called triggers—that one cannot explain for a long time. Most people affected also describe the deeply distressing feelings of guilt and shame.
Others can’t remember anything at all—a temporary forgetfulness that allows life to go on for the time being. For many, it’s a matter of sheer survival, because daily life with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is severely restricted in many areas of life.
Why Forgetting Isn’t a Malfunction
Our nervous system protects us from the horror we have experienced until we are able—and have the strength—to come to terms with it. This gives us the opportunity to move on with our lives despite the trauma, far removed from the intensity of those events.
The Return of Memories
The fact that a memory suddenly resurfaces after months, years, or even decades—as real as if it had just happened—is usually a sign of regained inner stability. It means that one finally has the strength to face what one has experienced.
When the fog lifts and the numbness wears off, we feel the pain in its full intensity. As exhausting as this phase may be, it also brings a new clarity. Many survivors report that they can finally feel themselves again—their bodies, their emotions, and their personal boundaries—perhaps for the first time ever. The energy that was previously required to safely lock away the experience can now finally flow freely once more. At some point, dissociation is no longer necessary. We learn to perceive ourselves again as whole people, with all our sensations and the signals from our bodies. In this way, the event can ultimately become part of our own story. However, this phase also presents challenges, because it is precisely then that we often feel particularly vulnerable and overwhelmed.
Does this sound like you?
If you feel the past catching up with you, that’s not a sign of weakness. Rather, it’s a sign that you’re now ready to accept the whole truth of your story. Your body, mind, and soul are sending you a signal that you’re ready to face it fully, understand it, and finally let it go.
You realize that you are no longer the person you once were. You feel more confident, recognize your resources and sources of strength, and have the energy to seek support. Even today, the pain reminds you of how deep the wound was. But you are now ready for the next step.
Back then, you survived by forgetting. Today, you can heal.
And you don’t have to walk this path alone! You need a safe environment.
There are specialized counseling centers that are here for you. Here, you’ll find a safe space where you can talk about the unspeakable. The experts understand your fears, your uncertainty, and your trauma. They offer support that is usually free and, if you wish, anonymous.
You’re not alone, even if it’s felt that way to you for a long time.
Feel my hug!
Yve
About the author
Ich bin Autorin aus Leidenschaft. Seit einigen Jahren teile ich mein Wissen über mentale Gesundheit, das Nervensystem und ganzheitliche Körperarbeit in meinen Texten. Zwei Bücher habe ich bereits veröffentlicht – weitere sind schon in Arbeit. Alles, worüber ich schreibe, basiert auf fundiertem Fachwissen und praktischer Erfahrung. Seit sechs Jahren begleite ich Frauen auf ihrem Weg zu mehr Körperbewusstsein, Gesundheit und innerer Balance. Als ausgebildete Entspannungspädagogin und zertifizierte Qigong-Lehrerin verbinde ich westliche Methoden wie Übungen aus der Atemtherapie mit fernöstlicher Weisheit der TCM und dem japanischen Heilströmen. Mit meinen Büchern und Impulsen möchte ich dich inspirieren, dir selbst mit mehr Achtsamkeit, Leichtigkeit und Selbstfürsorge zu begegnen.
