Do you remember the column “Inviting Goodness into Your Life ”? It really inspired me. As a follow-up, I’ve come up with a series of mini-columns. Topics: whatever comes to mind. Because there are so many wonderful things I welcome into my life. My antennae are fully extended. But it’s not just about noticing things or waiting to see what happens. Especially not when, like me, you’re a real “crime drama junkie.”
Challenge: 600 words maximum. I wonder if I can pull this off? I usually go for XL… Let’s get started!
Contents:
- Longing and Impulse
- The Murder Mystery Dinner
- Growth Mindset
- Self-Empowerment and Joy
- New: Mental Health Update
Longing and Impulse
Inspiration is everywhere. This time, it came during a culinary tour with friends. For the past five minutes, I’ve been chatting with Claudia, another participant. I’m gushing to her about how much I enjoyed the outing. And that it reminds me of murder mystery dinners, which I love but almost never get the chance to attend. She says, “I’m a huge fan of murder mystery dinners, too! We play them all the time—we even test new games before they’re released.” We exchange phone numbers, and she says, “I’d love to invite you sometime.” I’m so excited! We keep in touch, but the timing doesn’t work out. Our conversation inspired me so much. What am I waiting for?
The Murder Mystery Dinner
Report card day is coming up soon. Usually, we go out to a restaurant to kick off the vacation. This time, there’s a special event: I’m inviting my husband and our two kids (13 and 17), along with my daughter’s friend and her dad. Long-term campers, canned beer, and a dead body: my first time hosting a murder mystery dinner. [1]
Who do I cast in which role? For a moment, I waver—I almost let my daughter take the casting list out of my hands. But no, I’m going to see this through! And so I happily cast against the grain: her friend’s father plays the pregnant Vanessa. I cast one more role using this same principle. Then comes the evening. Everyone is in costume, and there’s delicious food. I cheerfully stumble my way through the stage directions. We gather clues and reconstruct the sequence of events. We’re having so much fun! I’m laughing until I cry.
Growth Mindset
The next day, I sent Claudia an enthusiastic message along with a group photo. She was so happy about it. And it dawned on me: When I feel a longing because I want something specific in my life, I don’t have to wait around. I’ll take matters into my own hands.
This aligns with the growth mindset, which, according to American psychologist Carol Dweck, refers to the psychological belief that our abilities to learn and develop are not fixed but can be cultivated through active engagement and learning. Anyone who, like me, has been eagerly awaiting an invitation to a murder mystery dinner for years is stuck in a static self-image. If I were to remain stuck there forever on this and other occasions, that would be called a fixed mindset. This mindset assumes that talent and intelligence are innate and unchangeable.[2] How limiting. For me, the shift into the active role of host marks a psychological turning point: This step aligns with the growth mindset, because I’m exercising my own initiative (agency, according to Bandura), which simultaneously strengthens my self-efficacy. [3]
Self-Empowerment and Joy
I’m so excited. About the murder mystery dinner. The next few days. As I write this. Excitement is bubbling up inside me. That wasn’t just a murder mystery dinner. It was so much more. I feel empowered. If I can do that and have so much fun, who knows what else I can do?
New: Mental Health Update
Don’t want to miss any of my columns? Want to stay informed about more exciting articles on mental health? I’m so glad you’ll be here . Thanks to the FemalExperts editorial team for bringing this idea to life.
All the best
Nora
P.S. 593 words. With P.S. 599.
[1] Chosen and purchased by me: https://www.culinario-mortale.de/krimidinner/dauercamper-dosenbier-und-eine-leiche
[2] https://www.project.uni-stuttgart.de/agility-lab/agility-uni-stuttgart/agile-werkzeuge/growth-mindset-vs.-fixed-mindset/
[3] See also: https://scilogs.spektrum.de/positive-psychologie-und-motivation/das-wertvolle-geheimnis-wirksamer-menschen/
About the author
Nora Hille was born in 1975, is happily married and has two children. She studied history, literature and media studies, worked in communications/public relations for 12 years and has now retired for health reasons. Today she writes articles on the topics of mental health and mental illness as a sufferer and experience expert. She also writes literary essays, poems (preferably haikus) and short prose. She regularly publishes her mental health column here at FemalExperts Magazine and is Editor of eXperimenta - the magazine for literature, art and society. Anti-stigma work is close to her heart: she is an encourager at Mutmachleute e.V. and is committed to Anti-Stigma-Texts against the stigmatization (exclusion) of the mentally ill in our society for more togetherness, tolerance and equality. In autumn 2023 her book "When Light Defeats Darkness" will be published by Palomaa Publishing. A book of encouragement about how to live a good and rich life despite bipolar illness - and the enormous challenge that this means every day for the inner balance of those affected.
