Imagine a world in which no one has to be afraid to go home alone at night. A world in which every voice is heard and no one is discredited, excluded or discriminated against on the basis of gender, identity or social background. In this world, men are not just silent observers, but active players for a fairer society. They raise their voices against inequality and stand side by side with women and all those who are oppressed. They use their privileges to tear down walls that have symbolized injustice and inequality for centuries. Male Allyship is the key to this vision – a vision that not only promises a better future, but also lays the foundation for a world where empathy, respect and equality are the norm.
The invisibility of privilege and the need for a change in awareness
Privileges are often invisible to those who have them.
This applies in particular to male privileges in patriarchal societies, in which men are systematically favored – be it in professional life, in social interactions or in access to resources. Male allyship begins with the recognition of these invisible privileges and the will to become aware of them. A central element is critical self-reflection: men recognize in which areas of their lives they benefit from these privileges, be it through access to positions of power, through dominance in social spaces or through the lower risk of becoming victims of violence.
I know from my own experience that this change in awareness requires courage and a willingness to acknowledge uncomfortable truths: Almost 14 years ago, I entered the business world as a management consultant and project manager. Not only did I deny my colleague at the time her expertise, I also found her manner and communication too dominant. I let her feel it repeatedly and, with my prejudices, missed the chance to get to know her better as a colleague and learn more about the reality of her life. I only came to terms with this a few years later and it is often this moment of shame and injustice that accompanies me in my commitment to greater gender equality today.
Men who see themselves as allies have learned to listen and take the perspectives of women and other marginalized groups seriously. This also involves unlearning toxic behavior patterns and shedding our own roles as “breadwinners”, “saviors” or “protectors”, which are often associated with traditional images of masculinity. Instead, we should see ourselves as equal partners in a movement for social justice and be prepared to question our position and actively shape change.
Gender stereotypes: obstacles on the path to equality
If we take a step back and look at our own childhood and the socialization that came with it, it is clear that gender stereotypes are deeply rooted in our culture and influence our behaviour, often unconsciously. These stereotypes lead to certain behaviors being considered “masculine” or “feminine”, which restricts the free development of the individual personality and contributes to the perpetuation of inequalities. For men who want to engage as allies, it is crucial to recognize these stereotypes and actively oppose them.
The emotionless, unapproachable man
A widespread stereotype is the image of the “strong, emotionally unapproachable man”. This image conveys to men that it is their job to demonstrate strength, suppress emotions and maintain control in every situation. This not only leads to alienation from one’s own feelings, but also reinforces the idea that men are inherently more rational and competent than women, who are perceived as emotional and sensitive. In this context, male allyship means breaking away from these outdated ideas and recognizing and promoting emotional intelligence and empathy as strengths.
The man as provider
Another important stereotype is the idea of the “provider”, which assigns men the role of being responsible for the financial upkeep of the family, while women’s responsibilities are reduced to care work and housework. This traditional distribution of roles contributes significantly to gender inequality, as it restricts women’s career opportunities and pushes both genders into a one-sided role. Men who see themselves as allies are therefore actively committed to promoting equal partnerships in which both partners take equal responsibility for the household and child rearing.
Structural inequalities and the influence of male alliances
Structural inequalities manifest themselves in numerous areas of daily life – from the professional discrimination of women to physical violence, which disproportionately affects women and queer people. Male alliances based on traditional norms of masculinity play a decisive role in this. These alliances are often exclusive networks that give men advantages while excluding women and non-male genders.
A well-known example of such structures is the so-called “Thomas cycle”, which shows how companies repeatedly fill their management ranks with similar, male candidates (the Allbright Foundation provides a fascinating insight into this in its 2017 report). These male alliances perpetuate a monoculture in which there is little room for differing opinions and diverse perspectives. Men who see themselves as allies can actively contribute to breaking these cycles. This can be done by opening up networks, promoting diversity at management level and consciously questioning recruitment and promotion practices.
Another aspect is the support of feminist organizations and initiatives. Male Allies can help feminist causes reach a wider audience by using their own platforms and networks. This also means that men must be willing to give up power and privilege to make room for others. A key challenge here is not to fall into the trap of “white knighting” – i.e. paternalistically “rescuing” women – but to meet them as equals and to recognize and support their leadership roles.
Violence against women and the contribution of Male Allies
A frightening sign of the urgency of male allyship is the still widespread violence against women. According to criminal statistics from the Federal Criminal Police Office in 2023, a woman is the victim of violence by her partner or ex-partner every four minutes. These figures illustrate the extent of the problem and the need for a broad social commitment to prevent and combat violence. Male Allies play a crucial role here by speaking out against violence, supporting those affected and promoting a culture of non-violence.
One important measure is to break the silence and take a clear stance against all forms of violence (see also: Stop the Baerbock bashing, stop the misogyny!). Men should be prepared to name toxic behavior in their environment and intervene if they witness assaults or violent behavior. This requires courage and a willingness to take social risks to do the right thing.
It could help to offer training on gender, anti-discrimination and unconscious bias. Sensitive topics are addressed directly in this way, especially in adolescence:
- Dealing with pornographic and misogynistic content
- Unconscious bias and stereotypes in everyday life
- Raising awareness of violence against women
- Today’s “images of men” and expectations of all genders
- Developing your own definition of masculinity
- Non-discriminatory communication
- Intersectionality and intersections of discrimination: gender, ethnic and social origin
Emotional work and the challenge of change
Male allyship is not just an intellectual or moral task, but also requires considerable emotional work. Men who engage as allies should be prepared to confront their own insecurities, fears and prejudices. This process can be painful and challenging, but is necessary to achieve truly profound change. A central aspect of this work is learning empathy – the ability to put yourself in other people’s shoes and understand their experiences and feelings.
In this context, empathy also means recognizing one’s own limitations and acknowledging that men do not always have to have the right answer or solution ready. Everyone needs help and support from others, especially when the challenges seem insurmountable. I can warmly recommend the Men’s Counseling Network for this, especially as it always focuses on the individual situation of the man seeking advice.
Basically, it is about listening, observing and learning from the experiences of others without pushing oneself to the fore. This also requires men to learn to accept criticism and to continuously develop themselves. Being an ally is a lifelong process that requires constant learning and growth.
Let’s get into action together
If you need a first impulse to get started in the field of “Male Allyship”, I will be happy to give you a few tips on how to get started:
- Create visibility: Share posts and articles by women and other marginalized groups to help them strengthen their virtual voice.
- Read diverse literature: Have you ever read a book from a different culture? Perhaps by someone with a disability or from the perspective of the LBGTQIA+ community? Broaden your horizons with exciting movies and books.
- Give space in meetings: Make sure that women and other marginalized groups are heard in meetings. Actively solicit their opinions when they are interrupted.
- Reflect on your use of language: Make sure you use gender-neutral or inclusive language so as not to exclude anyone.
- Offer support in difficult situations: If you hear sexist or discriminatory remarks, take an active stance against them by addressing the situation.
- Recognize privilege: Reflect on what advantages you have through your own position and consider how you can use these to promote others.
- Promote women in management positions: Support women in taking on leadership roles by recognizing their skills and actively bringing them into these positions.
- Create visibility: Mention the accomplishments and ideas of women and marginalized groups in conversations to spotlight their work.
- Work on your prejudices: Use training or online resources to recognize and reduce unconscious bias.
- Share household responsibilities: If you are in a partnership, make sure you share the responsibility for care work and household chores equally.
- Strengthen networks: Support women and marginalized groups in gaining access to professional networks and mentoring programs.
- Be a role model: Actively exemplify male allyship and inspire other men to also take responsibility and bring about change.
Male allyship: not a zero-sum game for men
Male allyship does not mean that men lose power or influence – on the contrary: it opens up new opportunities for collaboration, innovation and mutual understanding. By actively supporting women, men benefit from more diverse perspectives, stronger teams and a fairer working environment where everyone can reach their full potential. It’s a win-win for everyone involved, promoting sustainable success and better collaboration.
Conclusion: Male allyship as a transformative force
Male allyship is a powerful and transformative force that has the potential to actively and positively shape society. It requires men not only to question their own privileges, but also to play an active role in creating a fairer and more equal world. This means standing up to gender stereotypes, fighting structural inequalities and promoting a culture of respect and empathy.
A crucial step in this process is the willingness to share power and privilege and create space for the voices of those who have been and continue to be marginalized for various reasons for centuries. Male Allies have a responsibility to not only act as individuals, but to encourage other men to join this movement. By acting collectively and supporting feminist causes, they can help to significantly accelerate gender equality and create a society in which all people enjoy equal rights and opportunities, regardless of their gender.
The journey to a fairer world is long and full of challenges, but it starts with small steps and the determination to bring about change for the benefit of all.
About the author
I am committed to women finding their own way, living their ideas without compromise and supporting each other. At the same time, I want to take responsibility for my gender in order to promote equality and female empowerment.
